We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
