So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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