I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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