Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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