Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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