Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
