My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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