laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
