I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
