He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
