I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
