1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want to have your abortion
i was born a porn star she said
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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