I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
