yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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