im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
