Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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