So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
