I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
