I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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