it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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