We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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