WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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