i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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