sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
