me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
