I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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