How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
