You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
