well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
