Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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