My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
