can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
