I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
