I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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