honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
