His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
