Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
