She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
