I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
