Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
