I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
