everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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