the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
