I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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