the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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