so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
