I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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