Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
where are my pants?
in the oven.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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