After last night, I could never be a politician.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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