No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
