She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
